Where are We

You may notice that I have posted a number of posts on the same day. Basically I am playing catch up. Often when I am at work my mind will be whirling, trying to process everything we have learned, what needs to be done, and on and on. Many times I will open a word doc and just jot down thoughts to help relieve my whirling mind, but it seems I rarely have time to post them.

So rather than have a book of an entry I broke it up so that it isn’t quite as overwhelming.

I have been asked quite a bit lately where we are at in the process – here’s where we are:

- Week 7 of Pride classes; we missed a couple weeks early on so we have 2 classes this week and next and our final class will be October 2^nd.

- Our background check has been submitted

- Our agency application will be complete next week after Daniel has his physical

We have a meeting scheduled with our licensing worker to submit our application and plan our home inspection. There are a few things I know we need to add to bring our house up to code but they are minor so I think that will go rather smoothly. Additionally we have begun planning to do some work on our basement to make it warm and welcoming for our kiddos. I have been brainstorming on how to organize our house, making lists of what we need to get, and trying to figure out my schedule at work. I am really looking forward to completely our classes and submitting our application and really focusing on making our home ready for kids.

I have already learned so much on this journey and while it hasn’t always been smooth sailing, God has provided strength and courage to move forward. Last night when I was driving home the lyrics to a song touched me.

            Show me how to love the unlovable

            Show me how to reach the unreachable

            Help me now to do the impossible

            Forgiveness

            I want to finally set it free

            So show me how to see what Your mercy sees

            Help me now to give what You gave to me

            Forgiveness, Forgiveness

            Forgiveness ~ By: Matthew West

While these lyrics focus on forgiving others, I feel like these words can pertain to so much more. I know that the lives we are going to come into contact with are a complete wreck. These children may at first seem unreachable, their parents may be unlovable, and it may all seem impossible but with God’s help I can give these hurting souls (parents and children) what Christ gave to me – LOVE and SALVATION! 

Mega Blocks

We often refer to the moments and memories in life as building blocks… Some of the blocks are big and others are just a single piece that connects 2 big blocks together. I guess that is why I find it ironic that the first toy I bought for our foster children was a set of Mega Blocks.

I love our Pride classes, they are so interesting and filled with so much valuable information. I have been reminded each week how truly blessed I am. I was born into a loving family, disciplined with love, always supported, and most importantly taught of Christ love. The children that we are going to be working with have likely experienced very little love, no discipline or support and don’t have a clue who Jesus is.

How do I begin to relate to these children… how can I understand their thoughts and feelings… how do I know what they need… how can I help them…

I was pondering these questions on the way home from class when I hit a bump and a  bag of Mega Blocks in my back seat fell and startled me. I had to think - maybe that is the answer… I have been looking at all these questions as a whole, searching for a single answer – when instead; perhaps it’s a block at a time. Each day is an opportunity to add a block to the design, a big block, small block, or maybe even remove a block and change the design slightly. No matter which blocks we add or take away the building surface must be flat and the foundation strong or the blocks will tumble over. Jesus Christ is the perfect building surface and the strongest foundation, no matter which blocks we build with as long as we build on top of Christ the design will truly be beautiful. 

WOW Moment

The past couple weeks have been difficult in a variety of ways. I have felt satan pulling at me with fear, frustration, discouragement and many other emotions… I have come to realize in the past couple of months that satan is very tactical with his attacks. He doesn’t just randomly attack us, instead he carefully hits us in our weak points and slowly without realizing it we let him slowly invade, and before we realize it we are doubting God’s plan for our lives.

Looking back I can clearly see how satan tactically attacked me. It began with a couple of overwhelming Pride classes… then an extremely busy schedule… a very disorganized house… a discouraging meeting at work… until finally without even realizing it I started to doubt that I could be an effective foster parent … Satan is soo crafty and so quick – yet the most important lesson I learned was in my deepest despair. In my despair I recognized my need to hear God’s voice - funny how when you are up on a mountain you forget to listen for God’s voice and just glide along on your own strength until satan knocks your feet out from under you and you remember to turn to God and rely on His strength. In my despair, God provided me with a WOW moment – a moment when I was stunned by the sheer AWESOMENESS of the Lord God. 

I was at work feeling very discouraged and frustrated, I felt the need to read His word. I clicked open my Bible app on my phone this was the verse I read:

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

God stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that He is in control; that His plan is perfect and I need to trust Him – because after all He has overcome the world.