Around or Through

When facing the fires of life have you ever thought if you are going through the fire or if God has provided a way around the fire?

I am currently in a Beth Moore bible study on the book of Daniel. When I began this study I never dreamt it would become so real to me. Daniel fascinates me, I have often prayed for a purpose and discipline like Daniel had when he was faced with trials and everyday life. Each week I am confronted by the Word of God and how I am living in a culture that seems to be filled with a mentality very similar to the Babylon Daniel lived it. How do I respond to a society that has a focus on staying young, looking beautiful, and being smart and successful? Is my focus on me… or is it on God and the mission field he has laid out before me?

A couple weeks ago our bible study lesson was on the fiery furnace… A couple weeks ago I was in the midst of a personal battle (or fire if you will). God had closed the door for me to work part time at the bank and I was very upset by this. I had a lot of concerns and quite frankly this was not what I had planned nor was it what I wanted – notice it was not what Larissa planned or what Larissa wanted – BUT… what was God’s plan and what did God want? I spent a lot of time asking God to remove my desires and to change my attitude and surrender my will to His. At bible study Thursday evening I shared my struggles with these special women who I have come to love so dearly, they encouraged me and prayed for discernment and faith to trust God – as we worked through the outline for the study it was all about going through the fiery furnace. When you are faced with a fiery trial there are 3 scenarios’ that can take place:

1.      God will take you around the fire – and your faith will be built

2.     God will take you through the fire - and your faith will be refined

3.     God will lead you home through the fire – and your faith will be made perfect when you enter Heaven’s Gates.

This lesson really convicted me about my attitude as I faced the ‘fire’ I was currently going through. It encouraged me to focus on trusting God and letting Him remove the bonds that held me and not to ‘smell like smoke’ (be bitter, resentful, unhappy, and angry) when I came through the fire.

Not even two weeks later God answered my prayers in a very mighty way. He opened a door I never dreamt would be opened – it hadn’t even entered my mind actually…. For years I had prayed off and on that God would open a door for me to work at a local flower shop – Floral Designs. I am not quite sure why I wanted to work there soo bad except it is owned by two women I love and respect very much and one of my best friends works there… I don’t have much experience arranging flowers but I love home décor and planning weddings so why wouldn’t it be a great job! I can never doubt that God knows the desires of my heart – without any warning God opened the perfect door for an opportunity to work at Floral Designs (part time)… I am very excited for this new opportunity and I am looking forward to working with friends and awesome spiritual examples.  I have been at Floral Designs for just over a week and I absolutely love it and often I am still amazing at how God provides and answers my prayers.

So…back to the question that I asked earlier in this loonngg post (I apologize) did I go through the fire or did God take me around the fire??? I am not sure… but I do know that my faith was built and I do believe that it was refined as I learned to trust God and lay my own desires and plans before His feet and simply allow Him to lead my way…

In foster care news – we are still waiting for our background checks to come through and we are finishing up some final paper work… Last week we met with our licensing working and she said that she has been receiving more and more finalized back ground checks back everyday so she felt that is wouldn’t be long.

 

Where are We

You may notice that I have posted a number of posts on the same day. Basically I am playing catch up. Often when I am at work my mind will be whirling, trying to process everything we have learned, what needs to be done, and on and on. Many times I will open a word doc and just jot down thoughts to help relieve my whirling mind, but it seems I rarely have time to post them.

So rather than have a book of an entry I broke it up so that it isn’t quite as overwhelming.

I have been asked quite a bit lately where we are at in the process – here’s where we are:

- Week 7 of Pride classes; we missed a couple weeks early on so we have 2 classes this week and next and our final class will be October 2^nd.

- Our background check has been submitted

- Our agency application will be complete next week after Daniel has his physical

We have a meeting scheduled with our licensing worker to submit our application and plan our home inspection. There are a few things I know we need to add to bring our house up to code but they are minor so I think that will go rather smoothly. Additionally we have begun planning to do some work on our basement to make it warm and welcoming for our kiddos. I have been brainstorming on how to organize our house, making lists of what we need to get, and trying to figure out my schedule at work. I am really looking forward to completely our classes and submitting our application and really focusing on making our home ready for kids.

I have already learned so much on this journey and while it hasn’t always been smooth sailing, God has provided strength and courage to move forward. Last night when I was driving home the lyrics to a song touched me.

            Show me how to love the unlovable

            Show me how to reach the unreachable

            Help me now to do the impossible

            Forgiveness

            I want to finally set it free

            So show me how to see what Your mercy sees

            Help me now to give what You gave to me

            Forgiveness, Forgiveness

            Forgiveness ~ By: Matthew West

While these lyrics focus on forgiving others, I feel like these words can pertain to so much more. I know that the lives we are going to come into contact with are a complete wreck. These children may at first seem unreachable, their parents may be unlovable, and it may all seem impossible but with God’s help I can give these hurting souls (parents and children) what Christ gave to me – LOVE and SALVATION! 

Mega Blocks

We often refer to the moments and memories in life as building blocks… Some of the blocks are big and others are just a single piece that connects 2 big blocks together. I guess that is why I find it ironic that the first toy I bought for our foster children was a set of Mega Blocks.

I love our Pride classes, they are so interesting and filled with so much valuable information. I have been reminded each week how truly blessed I am. I was born into a loving family, disciplined with love, always supported, and most importantly taught of Christ love. The children that we are going to be working with have likely experienced very little love, no discipline or support and don’t have a clue who Jesus is.

How do I begin to relate to these children… how can I understand their thoughts and feelings… how do I know what they need… how can I help them…

I was pondering these questions on the way home from class when I hit a bump and a  bag of Mega Blocks in my back seat fell and startled me. I had to think - maybe that is the answer… I have been looking at all these questions as a whole, searching for a single answer – when instead; perhaps it’s a block at a time. Each day is an opportunity to add a block to the design, a big block, small block, or maybe even remove a block and change the design slightly. No matter which blocks we add or take away the building surface must be flat and the foundation strong or the blocks will tumble over. Jesus Christ is the perfect building surface and the strongest foundation, no matter which blocks we build with as long as we build on top of Christ the design will truly be beautiful. 

WOW Moment

The past couple weeks have been difficult in a variety of ways. I have felt satan pulling at me with fear, frustration, discouragement and many other emotions… I have come to realize in the past couple of months that satan is very tactical with his attacks. He doesn’t just randomly attack us, instead he carefully hits us in our weak points and slowly without realizing it we let him slowly invade, and before we realize it we are doubting God’s plan for our lives.

Looking back I can clearly see how satan tactically attacked me. It began with a couple of overwhelming Pride classes… then an extremely busy schedule… a very disorganized house… a discouraging meeting at work… until finally without even realizing it I started to doubt that I could be an effective foster parent … Satan is soo crafty and so quick – yet the most important lesson I learned was in my deepest despair. In my despair I recognized my need to hear God’s voice - funny how when you are up on a mountain you forget to listen for God’s voice and just glide along on your own strength until satan knocks your feet out from under you and you remember to turn to God and rely on His strength. In my despair, God provided me with a WOW moment – a moment when I was stunned by the sheer AWESOMENESS of the Lord God. 

I was at work feeling very discouraged and frustrated, I felt the need to read His word. I clicked open my Bible app on my phone this was the verse I read:

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

God stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that He is in control; that His plan is perfect and I need to trust Him – because after all He has overcome the world. 

Jesus Friend of Sinners

Apparently, I have not been very faithful at journaling; I just noticed that it has been a month since I last wrote. Not that the past month hasn’t been busy, in fact, busy is an understatement. However, in the whirlwind of the past month we have still managed to make significant process towards getting our foster care license. 

Tuesday, August 7th,  we attended the first of nine PRIDE classes. These classes are mandatory to receiving a foster care license and they are filled with much needed information covering a variety of subjects. They cover Teamwork, Meeting Developmental Needs- Attachment, Loss, and Discipline, Strengthening Family Relationships, Planning for Change, and Making an Informed Decision. These classes are set up to educate and to help families who aren’t sure that Foster Care is for them make an educated decision. For Daniel and I, these classes are purely educational and I am very excited to learn everything I can.

Last week as we met our classmates it was so amazing to hear why each one was there. Most were like Daniel and I looking to help those in need, while others had much deeper personal reasons for being there. One couple in particular really touched my heart – they are getting their foster care license to help their best friend. This couple is in their late 50’s and their best friend currently has custody of her three young grandchildren. Last year their best friend had a heart attack and minor stroke. She has regained her strength and is able to take care of her grandkids. The couple in our class recognized the uncertainty of her health and decided to get their license in case something happens to her and she is unable to care for her grandkids. If her health declines they plan to foster these children so they don’t get taken into the foster care system and separated. Their story touched my heart. I can’t remember their names, but I do know that they have often been on my mind and in my prayers. The selflessness of their love is soo evident and touching it brings tears to my eyes.  

I can’t really explain how I felt as we walked out the doors to our car, but when Daniel dropped me off in Morton to pick up my jeep I turned on Casting Crowns and these words touched a very raw place in my heart…

Jesus Friend of sinners we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus friend of sinners the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided

Oh Jesus friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus friend of sinners break our hearts for what breaks yours

Yeah,yeah,yeah

Jesus friend of sinners the one who's writing in the sand
Make the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of thieves
Let the memory of Your mercy bring your people to their knees

Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we
judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and love like You did.

Oh Jesus friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus friend of sinners break our hearts for what breaks yours

You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me a grateful leper at Your feet

'Cause You are good, You are good And Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever

Oh Jesus friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus friend of sinners break our hearts for what breaks Yours

And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

This song has brought me to tears so many times in the past months as I prayed for God to show me His will and just like before the tears flowed as I drove home Tuesday night…

My prayer as we continue this journey is that I can be a willing vessel for the Lord. That He will continue to mold me into the mother He desires me to be. I pray that my pride, selfishness, and stubbornness can be overcome with a humble, patient, and selfless heart. I pray that the final words of the song can resonate in my heart and leave me soft and moldable in the Father’s hands.

You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me a grateful leper at Your feet

Welcome to our new blog. I am not a gifted writer, I am not good at spelling, and grammer is not my specialty. Yet we have a story to share, a new journey to begin and I want this blog to reflect the Glory of the King and His work in our lives as we begin our journey into the Foster Care System.

We have shared our news with many personally, but for those of you that we couldn't I apologize. We are very excited to begin on this journey. The Lord has given clear direction that we are to 'bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to the captives, open the prison doors to those that are bound...' (Isaiah 61:1-4)

My goal is to journal our journey on this blog to bring to rememberance the mighty work that God has done, and will do. I also want to keep our family and friends up to date as I am sure we will get busy and I will forget who I have told what to.

Please continue to pray for us as this is still very new, we are learning so much, and have so much to do. I have a very thick application sitting next to me, along with physicals to schedule, smoke detectors to instal, and LOTS of organization to do. We have plenty of room in our house but it is definately only organized for 2 people at this time... namely our spare bedroom which houses the majority of my clothing - not sure where it is all going to go....

Speaking of clothes, I really need to go fold some laundry but it was raining (PRAISE THE LORD) and I couldn't help but open my living room door, and sit down to listen and watch the Lord refresh this dry and weary earth with rain!

Love,
    Larissa